She pushes the blade against her skin
Hoping this will be the last time she's tired
She wouldn't really do it
But she dances on the razors edge
Thinking strongly about all the pain she feels
Maybe all the pain she feels she inflicts
She feels selfish
Never able to express what's really on her mind
Always lying
Crying
Dying
Knotted up inside
Confused
She's strong and even though it feels weak
She fantasizes about when she was able to slice her skin open and watch herself bleed
Before she had to care
She's glad she's alive but she wishes for her own life with her baby and a new start
No more temporary homes
No more lost love
No more pain
She longs for a future that doesn't look bleak
For a relationship where she's able to speak
She feels stupid
She feels unforgiving
Ungrateful
She can't help it
She feels deeply
When shes happy
Deeply when she's sad