sometimes I spell my name wrong on purpose
hoping to accidentally discover who I really am
who I use to imagine I was suppose to be
or maybe just who I use to be
back when believing in love and magic
was as easy as breathing

back when breathing was easy

back before I needed
to keep a feather in my copy of Peter Pan
to book mark chapter 13
to remind me that love and magic
can only be as real as I believe them to be

because lately its been hard to believe in anything
I want to believe
there is more good than bad in the world
more light than darkness
more beauty in the truth
than just its ugly reality

more kindness than cruelty
more generosity than greed
more miracles in daily living
and not just the tragedy
of meaningless death
after meaningless death

but I have lost count
of the slogans piling up behind the hashtags
and I struggle to remember the names
of all the victims of all the senseless violence
spilling out from all the blind hatred
beating wildly in this world
that seems to be losing its way

and I wonder if I am even human
because if anything human
can be so blind to all the pain
and all the poverty
and all the hunger in this world

if anything human
can have nothing but apathy
to the needless suffering inflicted
by the social inequality
that plaques any minority
by the masses of *****
that make up the majority

then why
tell me why
would anyone with a heart
anyone who can still believe
in love and magic
want to be human

if being human doesn’t mean
to be filled with love and compassion
to have the kindness and generosity of our hearts
flow freely to and out of our hands
to any and everyone that needs help

to anyone who needs shelter
from the cold and unforgiving gaze
of hate filled eyes
to anyone that needs something more
than just food to **** the doubts and ache
stirring in their bellies
to anyone who just needs a moment
a brief moment
to know they are not alone
that their fight to survive
isn’t a battle they have to fight alone

if being human isn’t meant
to help one another
then what is it?
are we all just out here misspelling our names
hoping to become anything
but what we really are