Played Eminem at full volume because I didn’t have to listen to you complain about “**** rap”

2. Cried while listening to Cinderella Man.

3. Listened to music by Drag Queens because I love myself.

4. Danced and cried alone in my room

5. Took advantage of the fact that I still had your Netflix password.

6. Made an OkCupid because Tinder is garbage. I had way too much fun sarcastically making my profile. I included the fact that I don’t believe in wearing matching socks and quoted drag queens to excess because I don’t get cute I get drop dead gorgeous.

7. Looked for girls on OkCupid.

8. Realized my sexuality.

9. Went on a date a week after. It was terrible, he talked about himself the entire time and he didn’t even have an interesting personality.

10. Decided to date myself. I found out I’m a way better date than anyone I had ever dated.

11. Joined a dance group, a Zumba group, a kickboxing group, a yoga group,  a barre fitness group, and the summer rifle club. And I discovered I loved it all.

12. Went to bars on a Tuesday night because they had comedy events and burlesque shows. This was the best date I took myself on.

13. I moved on. I didn’t move on to someone else. I moved on to myself. Because I am the best thing for myself.