Things have been strange lately
Devoid of feelings
I've been staying home more and
Eating lots of greens
Keeping my room clean

The other day I broke my ***
Fell down alone in the mountains
Now I've got a bruise like a galaxy
It would have been funny
If I'd had anyone with me

Sometimes I go out and talk
To boys in bars
They bore the hell out of me

I drink whiskey and practice my pretend smile
Excuse myself for cigarettes
That I don't smoke anymore

Where'd all my hell go?
I'm all balance and competence
Sunrise after sunrise
I ponder my insipid demise

It's been weeks since I've kissed or spit or sweat
Good god I'm bored
I'd love to meet someone who contradicts themselves
Half as much as me

Is this it? Is this what I want?
I confuse myself
Sometimes all I want is to be ****** up
On fire
Cracking knuckles and shedding clothes
Never satisfied with anyone around me
Never satisfied with me
Filling all my wounds with salt
Watching myself bleed

I can be so broken
I can be so whole
I can do it all by myself