I never knew that my mind could attack me like this. 
Falling in and out of my emotions 
there is no stable ground beneath me.
I'm drowing.
I try to side with denial, 
but like friendships it never lasts. 
I try to smile to cover up the pain 
but I'm not allowed to be feel
even if its for a little while. 
It feels like I've been sentenced life in my thoughts, 
that's worse than a death sentence
I've tried to fill myself with god's words but I guess I'm doing it wrong 
cause I've never been more empty. 
They say happiness will come to you 
if you know Jesus, I guess we're complete strangers. 
They don't understand, hope doesn't understand despair. 
I feel deserted because I am alone.
Because my body won't let me back in
Becuase I'm searching for someone to see me clawing behind the gloom in my eyes
Please, help me get out
I've been so desperately searching. 
Does anyone notice, please?
Do you not see the frown behind my smile? 
Can anyone hear the sadness thats caresses my laughter? 
No one...just me...again, but how much more of myself can I take? 

Emotions slowly leave the home that was my heart. 
This body is not my own
I take care of it,
but it couldn't careless
I don't evdn belong here, ****?
 
I suppose the only friends I have are the monsters that have taken over. The life playing in my head, is my death sentence