Why is this gin not helping me
Alcohol is supposed to help you with these types of things. Right?
Than why do I still have these thoughts
Thoughts that are giving me very few options

I could either finish that bottle of gin and become an alcoholic
Take that gun from the cabinet, load it with its 9mm rounds, aim and fire
Or go get the help that I need from family and friends

I know that getting help is the right answer
Yet why does that gun look to be the right answer
But knowing me with my shaking hand
I will mess and hit the wall behind me

Now if I was a religious man
That shot would have been a sign from God
Yet I’m not a religious man so I know
That shot was because of my hand, so I would try again
Expect I might go through the mouth this time

I need you to come into this room that I locked myself in
Take that gin throw in against the wall
Take this gun from my hands, empty the bullets, and get rid of it
And to get me the help that I need

Yet if you don’t come I know what I would do
I would finish that gin and fired that round
Ending the thoughts for good

Yet if I did how could I if I’m telling you this
Or have I fired that shot
And I’m a ghost to tell you the mistake that I made