I’ve thought about you all day today,
This day is significant, it’s a special day
I made macaroni and cheese..it was my first time
To think I would have gained something more impactful than pasta
To think I’ve lost more than myself these last days
To think I could heal wounds with words and sincerity
I think I think too much.
With shaky hands I adjust the instrument of my addiction
Was it fact or fiction,
I breath in, in, in..
Eyes flutter as the waves of pleasure hits
This feeling probably is a better option than to slit my wrists
To twist my lips and take a sip
To sip my dreams and blow it into life,
You speak what you want into the universe and it’ll provide
You were my drug of choice, I know you’re no good for me
And thought I swear my lips will never touch you again
Here we are, I listen to voicemails hearing your sweet words caress my smoke
I am nothing more, honestly a joke. I claim I helped you when you were in darkness murk
Yet I am the one sloshing away, **** pathetic how I miss what this day means
Regretting everything, I hate this reality I chose for me
Your chemical abandons my brain and I hold my head in my hands
I cry, like a bottle of water splashing onto the floor
The bottle is empty and I am the same
It’s incredible how stupid I am, how I lost so much, and gave so little to the one I loved
I stare up from the bottom of the bottle occasionally, but lately I’m just drifting