Countless times have I
Pictured myself and you.
That we may,
That we might
Have our confessions.

My "friend", "blood"
I watched you take
Your last breath, red-
Running, pouring shamelessly-
Lively out your mouth.

I feel tears run down
My cheeks. Why?
We were never close. A barrier
Always forbade connection.
I always pictured us sorting
Through our issues. Why and How we were what we were.
How our ship in this relation sank.
Why our jigsaw never fit.

Yet I cry and feel emotions.
Maybe I loved you despite my
Hatred. Despite being disowned
And abandoned.

I have had visions of us
Confessing, professing love.
That I would forgive you all
The way, not just half.
But I have forgiven thee yet
I feel like my hatred stays.

I mourn you and what
This relation on our ship-
Could have been. That we were
Denied and unable to connect
Our plugs.

I mourn you. I mourn me.
I mourn you and me. Together.
Die in peace my "friend", "blood"
Know I never only despised-
But I loved, love you. .

Go in peace for we shall meet
Again.
Dear "friend",
Dear "blood".