Sometimes I feel sad. I used to be able to write. I used to be able hold on to that sadness and feel it all the way through. A song. A smell. A memory. Just a way to feel the things that I have forgotten in my infinite state of bliss. My infinite state of lies. I’m lost and wandering inside my own thoughts unsure of where to go. These dark places. These dark corners of my mind they tempt me to be more than what I am and I no longer want to play but these spinning teacups never stop or delay. I can’t jump.  I need a love that makes me feel like I do in all these sad songs or am I wishing upon a forgotten star? Rewatching all these blurry scenes from a tragedy that is my life I wonder why I glorified all these people who were honest in who they pretended to be. A real phoney. So why? Why feel so sad in a life so full?