No I'm not appointing blame, My origins will never change, But what was there for an eight year old to do. I never felt wanted again after I was born, There was a huge void in my spirit My dad married and it seemed like he forgot about me, I felt like I was scorn. I was never helped with homework; I became a novice Never understood Maths, English or any prerequisites.
A mistake. Yeah I get it. But at least don't treat me like it.... Please. My teacher (God rest her soul) took me under her wing, Helped me with maths,religious education and English. I slowly understood what I was missing: Love, joy, sympathy and a family. This quickly ended when she died though, And that void came back.
I never saw my dad. I might have slowly forgotten his features. But that didn't bother me I was only ten by then, And I was coming into myself: I suffered depression and insecurities. Many a day I would bury my head in a book Not because I wanted to, But because I wanted to make myself scarce so I could escape the hardships of my dysfunctional family.
Maybe reading was a good thing, I reassured myself as I read through the encyclopedias in my small library; Deciding that I'll read my problems away. Mom was never around, And daddy had a new family. I'll just read the problems away.
I felt unwanted. Mummy started going out every night, At this time I had a five year old sister; Of course mom hardly spent time with her. I babysat her while missing homework assignments I never got helped with. Because mummy went out every night. Sometimes she came home Sometimes she didnt A fire kindled in my spirit made of anger How could a mother do this to her young daughters.