ENVY is staring yourself down in the full body mirror, holding back the bile building in your throat as your mind plagues you with the thoughts of how you’ll never be skinny enough or pretty enough or tall enough or handsome enough or human enough and it stings -oh it stings against your sloppy, disgusting face- that you’ll never be enough because other people are so much more luckier, so much more intelligent, so much more attractive -so much more anything- than you and it gets to you, all the way underneath your skin like a wicked poison and you start to wonder, wonder why do others have it better and why you can’t have what they have because what’s so wrong with desiring what others have and then you notice that the reason why is because you are you and you are never desired for and it makes you feel worthless and furious and so awful that the poison boiling in your body starts to take its toll and you scratch at you neck until it bleeds, pinch a piece of nonexistent fat on your stomach, viciously tear at your nails so that they become ****** stumps, destroy and damage everything you hate about yourself until all that’s left is the same person you were starting at before only now you’re weak and tired and wondering why can’t others feel the way you do, why they are enough already, why they are so much more, and you’ll stare at yourself until the burning effects of your glare gives off plenty of 3rd degree burns to make you sigh, turn away, and always wonder why because envy doesn’t cure how you feel in the end, not when it’s wondering how it can become better like everyone else.