To my dearest

Or so it would seem

This is the closest I can get to an apology

Because if I’m being honest

Which I rarely am

I’m not sorry

Not one bit

But it’s ok because you don’t know what I’ve done

You don’t know that I feel nothing for you

You don’t know that I’ve cheated on you time and time again and felt no remorse

You don’t know how many times I’ve told you I can’t talk, or that I can’t go on a date with you

Because I always have plenty of time to spare

But I just don’t want to spend it on you

The thing that would make you cry

Is that all I ever saw you as

Was a pawn on a chessboard

And I am incapable

Of seeing you as beautiful

Or loving you

Because I have come to realize

There is no beauty or love in this world

At least not for me.