inside my soup cup, a fly swims the backstroke,
dives from the spoon to my tongue and I choke

scream as the porcelain saucer tossed broke
and out from the waitress's eyes rises smoke

chef bombs me with eggs, curls drip yellow yolk
run as he yells slobbering ~ this cook may stroke.

a guy on a bicycle falls breaking a wheel spoke,
the busboy laughs at him - the man sees no joke

red bloodshot eyes rage - he ***** slaps the bloke
pile-drives and jabs with the three stooges poke.

dogs trailing cats chasing toads in a stereo croak
stop to mark the ground but the busboy they soak

standing as the hostess throws a bottle of coke
she pegs his forehead and ricocheted glass broke

seeing the ice for his lump I jump up - then spoke
of the green head flies in the cubes gag and choke

chaos erupts - a food fight hits and flying dishes broke
police cars roll, folks scatter and I duck behind an oak.