Are you awake??? I feel like I am drowning. I am falling into a pool of tears. My heart feels empty as I write. What it wrong with me? Why do I do this? I am selfish with loneliness. I feel pain all around me. I don't want the pain to shape me. Somehow it seems to win. This pain is fulfilling. Why??? Not even I can explain. When will my tears dry up? I am furious with this out come. I just want to cry night and day. So my flooded pain can dissipate.