she is gangly. a thousand skinny legs extended. a thousand skinny
minds.  wrapping. entangling me. roots.  digging into the side of a
mountain. she is reaching.  grasping for me.  gasping birthing
breathing demons.  pain.  this mysterious force.
emanating.  has no place.  has no source.  it is the first.
disconnection.  it is memory.

without diagnosis. it does not exist. my head rattles.  the rocks
are loose again. colliding with my skull.  we are pulled apart.  our
interactions have no meaning.  I pop.

pop pink.  pop blue.  pop white.  she disappears.  and everything
floats.  I am bottomless. dancing in deep water.  moving in slow
motion. to nowhere. in particular.

suddenly

a floor appears.  a ceiling.  four walls.  moving. closer and closer.  I
have a bottom. I have a top.  I have sides.  squeezing me.  I pop
more

pop 2x pink. pop 2x blue. pop 2x white. she dissolves.  in seconds.
no.  I dissolve. no.  everything that is not me dissolves.  I must be
sleeping in wonderful watery confusion. dreaming in wet white silky slides.

suddenly

she returns.  more powerful. pure energy. one ******* god.
a thousand times a thousand legs. bee bees of light. crossing each
other. I am caught.in the midst.  squeezed. feeling the full extent.
of paaaaain. an explosion. no. an implosion. of the sun. so I pop more

pop 3x pink. pop 3x blue. pop 3x white…