How do you find your voice when you've been drowned out for so long?
How do you accept the help you're screaming for if you feel like everyone's against you? If people have been against you your whole life?
To be able to get up and shower or get ready is something I long for. To not feel so ******* bleak. So ******* useless.
I'm like a bad joke that everyone always laughs at. That everyone dumps their baggage on to later abandon.
Why did you tell me you love me if you didn't mean it? Why did you tell me I meant something if you knew you'd leave me a day later? I'm a joke people know they can get away with laughing at because I'm too ******* meek and nice to tell them otherwise.
Putting other people first is all I know. When will I start to take care of me?
I'm sorry I'm not enough mom. I try so hard to be everything you want. I try not to relapse and I try not to hurt myself, but the thoughts are getting darker and you don't notice me unless you
want to ridicule me. I'm so sorry I'm not how you want me to be.
I've felt not good enough since I was a small child and I don't think I can hide it behind doing good deeds for others anymore.
I think it's time for me to leave.