tonight is long

extending beyond
any formal measure of time

I can’t sleep or
I don’t want to sleep

nothing is clear in me
defining a muddle

my brain is a
monkey in a cage
throwing ****

at everyone

if I do sleep
it is only a
moment in between

and I wake to these
dry cracked lips

and I wake to
a heart beating fast

and in this muddle
I think

tomorrow I
need to see a doctor

tomorrow I
need to be touched

even by
thick
stiff
cold

unfeeling fingers