Today will be that day I decide what's important down deep inside
Nothing in life I've taught myself to do
In the creative sense has been hinged upon accolades or instant gratification nor monetary considerations
If it were to have been so
Then I have worked so hard
way too hard to be this poor
So I say this as my final thoughts
And I am torn as to speak my mind but that would run contrary
To my own expectations of myself because I constantly insist that's wrong to those who believe and say artist should be humble
For how can one be humble if
they are going to create
something out of nothing
before they even start
That's not the seeds that sprouts creative arts
those are the seeds that Sprout doubt
Or maybe it's just a forewarning in case they fail to create
And that's just a roadblock that you've already set up for yourself
So I truly know that even though creation for creation sake is truly well and good
But appreciation has its own affect
Sometimes that part of us that we tend to neglect
So now
I don't need right now
or my entire life the appreciation of others
as much as i create for the
pure joy of seeing
something appear from nothing
As that has a magic all its own

All my adult life I have said
certain things that I believe to be true
You shouldn't have to ask a friend to pay you back what they said they would
especially when they said
and a thank you or apology asked for when owed
Will no longer be of any value when given in that mode
but I'm going to speak what I have so often wondered
As I passed by my own self set roadblocks
How I can get and at a consistent basis the decent amount of reads
And what seems to be to me an almost obscene
Lack of feedback
that would make me demean myself here now now
By asking this question and knowing that once I do I won't want any answers as I feel they won't mean much were I to get a few but I could be wrong
And that's why I am going out this obscure route
Wiping away every track because I walked it knowing
That I wouldn't be coming back




I don't think it's personal I don't think it's a slight I just wanted to point it out to those who may not notice those who are coming along and aren't able to carry their own light. That is a problem I've never had.