If ever I could tell you one more thing
Stare you in the face
Under every circumstance
No matter the consequences
I’d want you to know something
I’d call you my mistress
My missing sanity
That even though I kiss her
My mind wonders to you
As I hold her
I hold onto our memories
I’d tell you
I’m sorry
For giving up so soon
For not having faith
For accusing you
Of never loving me to begin with
I never had faith in myself
I never found joy
In the breathes that I took
Till I found you
Hiding under a rock
Scared of the world
And I couldn’t help but love you
I saw you as perfect
Smart to know the real danger
Cautious to never test the waters
But still I miss it
The no label relationship
The endless conversations
And I still never told you enough
How much I love you
The way you talked
The way you called me crazy
The way you infected me
With emotions I was scared of feeling
Not sure if what I was feeling
Would hurt you in the end
Even though I tried
Still feels like I could have done more
I could have sent flowers
Showed up unannounced
Swept you off your feet
Created a hallmark moment
I could have been the white knight
Gallantly swooping in
Just to be a ******
I could have made you smile more
Yet I let it go to waste
I allowed it to fall apart
And even as I love them
I love you still
You’re the constant pain in my chest
The empty feeling
I fill with concrete and ****
You’re my mistress
Even though I steal no kiss
You're probably in his arms
Smiling at him
The way I know
You would have smiled at me
Staring into his eyes
With a sense of security
But even as I love you
We can’t change what has happened
But if ever the chance arose
I’d tell you one more time
I still think of you
Always have
I miss you
Always will
I love you
In this life and the next