Tis past the season of love and cheer Where toasts were made with wine and beer Sad Christmas trees are stripped of glitter And unwanted presents are displayed on twitter
Time to turn off the festive telly Review a Christmas inflated belly New year party celebrations End with a list of resolutions
First day of the year, ready to go Gym joined, going to be a boxing pro But ten minutes in, I’m in a heap The floor feels comfy, so I take a sleep Okay so boxing isn’t my thing So on to resolution No2. Learn to sing
I join the local choir, looking to go solo But they say I sing like someone called Greta Garbo Okay so singing isn’t my style So onto No3, going to ice skate, freestyle Saved the best for last, this is for me Used to skate when I was a kid, what glee
I am nearly the star that shines Look at my turns, how clean my lines Ready for the leap, two and half twist, here I go But the resulting belly flop earns a score of zero Okay so ice skating is for the younger scene So, onto resolution No4, Cut out caffeine
Okay, day one I’m climbing the walls The dog is dodging flying ***** Heads pounding like hangover king Has it really only been one hour in? That’s enough to prove the point, Kettles on Expresso in the cup. Resolutions done.