The last few months were a mess
and I did not know how to handle life at this point
i was out of mind
i was stressed out
i had no energy
but most of all i was scared of the changes

2018 was a very strange year and i would have never imagined it like this
did not expect this much pain
did not expect this much tragedy and horrors

i stopped writing.
i did not try it any longer
a few small poems but nothing too much
the moment i stopped writing
the moment my heart let go of this need
i was filled with an unknowing void
it claimed my heart and soul
and i let it pass
oh, how stupid i was

now
i got tickled by a small idea in my head
something to write
to tell
to share
i sat infront of my laptop
and suddenly it hit me
i started shaking
i was scared of writing

i realized
i was scared of writing because when i write
i am the most honest to myself