Flickering lights
Scrolling past image after image
Of loss, suffering
While i lay back on my bed
My life is mirage of the chaos outside

Papers strewn about my desk
An internal struggle for innovation
Ignorant of what lays beyond the cold, glass windows
A hand cast over my eyes
Shielding them from what is too painful to see

As the numbness washes over me
i stare at the ceiling
Stressing over what to do with my life
No purpose, no hope

A feeling of uselessness

Maybe i should just die
A self-centered voice cries out
No one would care
No one would notice

but what would happen?
i question

is it really better--
to live without a hint of the future to come
or to die knowing the outcome?

the idea flew away
gone away like the rain

Yet the blinds remain closed
To the outside world
Only the strobe effect of artificial lights fill the room

Shut into a enclosed space
Where only i stay
Poring over words
Their beauty
Their pain

Once, we were unable to look at a violent image
Without regurgitating
Now i can see something like that and compartmentalize it
Trap it in a box, never to be seen again
No more tears fall from my once-swollen lids
As i’ve moved on from the emotional
Towards an unforeseeable future
Dehumanized