I get so turn with ‘friends’
I understand to know my worth
So I cut off the bad ones
And now i'm left with none

Is it my fault that I was never taught relationships
I dated so many people just to find some kind of filler
Filling holes with fake love and empty promises
But I never really learned the idea of friendship

Of course I blame myself
But I also blame my abusers
Why can't I live healthily
Why can't I live normally

But thinking like that brings me pain
I need fillers that aren't people
Knowledge and adventure
Because after all what is a human being without our mind

Successfully I've done this
People think I live an amazing busy life
They don't see the Wednesday nights alone on my couch pondering
They only see what I want them too and she's not exactly me

I keep myself busy to escape the depression
And that honesty hurts and cuts deep
But being busy is learning and new experiences
I then soon have a realization that I'm only human

~Emma Rose