It would have been so easy
to say:  I've found myself
after groping in the blinding dark
a new -made illuminated man
who did once alone embark
upon a spiritual journey
saved, saved at last
(despite all odds)
as though I were hero
of some sort!

self-delusion!
a momentary spark
in time, occasioned
by a certain leaning
of mind and heart
by sudden emotions heightened
vaporises--doesn't last but
only the first breath
of a longing-to-be
a will-o'-the wisp
a mirage-

a harbinger
whispering:
hardly a start
towards the clear blue
unclouded sky
only a tiny path opening
marked Via Dolorosa
before the journey's ending
(until then it's still a self-drifting)
are you ready for more weeping?