it was so emotional paralyzing.
living, i mean.
there were no other words to describe it other than,
the buildup of emotions in my chest made everything unbearable.
i was so fragile and no one held me.
i wanted so badly to be held.
i couldn't even live for you anymore and i'm sorry.
everything felt like it was closing in on me and at the same time,
everything was so big and i felt so insignificant again.
i kept writing and writing,
"why do i feel like this?
when will it get better?
why does it never get better?"
i'm close to my end and these hands are typing faster and faster,
trying to milk out every single last word that left in me.