With the turkey out of the way
It's time to do some shop and save
Black Friday...here we go again

I am up at three o'clock
So I'll be at the door on the dot
Shopping like a mad whirlwind

Pulling up to Walmart
Grab myself a fresh shopping cart
For when the doors open up at five

Like a horse out of the gate
Your own fault for being in my way
Just count your blessings that you're still alive

Beat the crowds straight to the back
For a little ****** and grab
Gotta have the newest wide screen T.V.

Blue hair had my T.V. in her cart
Took her out with a karate chop
Sorry granny it's either you or me

Next set my sights on this kid
With no clue of what he did
Or how he ended splayed out on the floor

In the remote car shopping isle
And it may take that kid awhile
To remember who, what, when, or what for

I next wildly veer off to the right
For that set of Ginsu knives
That I use to hold back the forming crowd

With it being the only set left
I Samurai it over my head
Which  quickly clears out the entire Ginsu isle

With my shopping about done
I sweep shelves into my cart on the run
Figure I can sort it all out later

At times it's hard to pick and choose
With the attitude of I hate to lose
Anyways I figure they owe me for all my labor

When I get to the front of the store
There's bookoo bunches of crowds galore
I've never seen such a long drawn out line

So I clear the path in front of me
Taking people off at the knees
They'll surely think twice the next time

Before getting in my way
And my day of shop and save
Already planning for next year my friend

Satisfied I head for the door
But I tell you not before
I turn and say Happy Holidays and Good Will Towards Men!
Cause that's just the way I am...