she listens to Him as if His words can actually define her
and He uses her as if she is actually His property
she lets Him because she loves Him and He lets her diminish
He only needs her when He is sad or lonely or tired or ***** or hungry
she knows this she can feel His selective love deep in the beds of her nails as they run down his back
she knows He only wants her 'beautiful lips' wrapped around his 'needing ****' and she feels like if she can give Him even slight relief her purpose will be fulfilled
because that... He told her that
He looks at her and He knows she knows
He knows His grip on her is being loosened just like His grip on her hair
and it doesn't take long for both of them to turn their backs their hearts their minds on each other
until He reaches back out wraps His warm all encompassing hands around her long soft neck
while fear rushes through her mind heart down to her fingertips she also feels the addictive shake of His voice growling in her ear
again again again 'that's My girl'
I'm feeling a bit used. I'm feeling like a user. I'm feeling lost, scared, and a plethora of other negative emotions. I'm trying to read poetry to find some purpose. I'm trying to sleep more, sleep better. I'm trying to listen to music that doesn't keep me stuck. I'm trying. I am failing.