Almost having love is worse than being alone. "Alone" I can handle. I have been doing "alone" for a long, long time.

I know lonely, and loneliness is my familiar friend.

But almost having a confidante, almost being loved, almost having someone to depend on, is unendurable. "Almost" means I was not quite lovable. Not quite interesting. Just a bit less than you wanted.

When I was alone, I was lonely alone. No one knew.

Now I am lonely exposed. You have hurt me more with your "almost" than "never" could have ever done. Never couldn't touch me, but "almost" has broken me.


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