This is not a regular cold
This is not that time of the month
There are no over the counter meds for this
No topical creams ointments or braces
This type of pain comes and goes
Sometimes it stays with me all day long
Becomes very intense at night when no one else is around
Or hits me unexpectedly and brings me to my knees
I forget to smile and grimace instead
I forget about small talk and find a place to hide instead
I don’t like the presence of others and prefer my own company
Parties and get togethers are a complete torture and all I can think about it getting back in my joggers and hide under the comfort of my purple comforter that smells like lavender and chamomile
I used to be surrounded by people once but now not so much
Writing and walking helps
Cleaning and baking too
But I run out of things to write and all the roads always must lead back to the house
Making messes and cleaning up mistakes wear me down now
I won’t go to my friends for this
And a friendly stranger does not seem like a good idea either
The symptoms are always the same but I still have not found the cure to this
I am tired of being sick.