I sip my wine as fast as I can
I need the feeling of numbness
I've been craving it for so long
There's too many emotions

They're flooding every part of me
They've corrupted my head
They've in infiltrated my heart

I take a gulp

The wine washes them out
I know they'll be back
but that doesn't matter right now
I want to enjoy the quick peace

I hear them crawling back
They don't usually come back that fast

I wasn't ready

I can't see them but I can feel them
Slithering around my memories
Creeping into my eyes
Covering my ears
Silencing my lips

I let the wine drown me

sip after sip
glass after glass
bottle after bottle

I keep drinking even though I know my body can't take anymore

I let the wine keep me busy. I let myself immerse into the lies I've prepared; All the false positivity I constantly tell myself.

No
Not false

I will be okay
I've done this before
I've won before
I can do it again

I just need time to pick myself up so, I fabricate sweet dreams to hide myself in. They won't find me there.

but a little whisper in my head said they would