Every year it's the same troop
Who seem to show up in a group
Relations that you never see
But, still they are your family

Gifts are opened, clear the floor
Then you hear them at the door
Relations that you never see
Except to eat your food for free

They never write, they never phone
All they do is sit and moan
Relations that you never see
They don't look like either you or me

Every year it is the same
They burst on in, don't know your name
Relations that you never see
Thieving hospitality

We don't know where these people live
They always take, they never give
Relations that you never see
That's how it will always be

Merry Christmas, how's the folks
Drink your drink, and smoke your smokes
Relations that you never see
Fulfill their Christmas dream for free.