welcome, my friend, to this mental institution.
  please sit back and unwind.
    i hear you tried to **** yourself a half a dozen times.
      we will take good care of you, shall i cover all your scars?
        we will have you leave here, a corpse that can drive a car.
          so now we have your details, please wait here in your room.
        oh, by the way. your roommate's just like you!
      don't worry she won't bite. but give her space to brood.
    so please take your meds and think those happy thoughts.
we guarantee you will leave as soon as you've paid for the services you bought.