They put me on medicine and I dont feel normal anymore. I feel like a monster. Plus the medicine isn't working. I just wish I knew what to do. I just want to die and don't know why it won't stop. I worry too much and don't know how I am supposed to handle all of this. Problems spring up everywhere. A good percent of my friends are suicidal. It bothers me so much. I just want to save them. I don't want to lose them. They are the only reason that I am alive. I'm breaking each day and no one can tell. It just hurts so much.