my apparent joy at being with you
is dragged under by my questions.
their significance
their insistance
i know
are taboo.

dare i ask
what now?

what am i to you
other than a friend
with benefits.

you lavish upon me
love in front of friends
and yet you said
you said....

i want to say,
those words.
i bite my tongue often.
******,
it should be easy.

will you ever speak the words i want to hear?
can i push at this bubble,
and it not burst the serenity we created?

i cannot look at you,
too hard.
i dont want to fall,
too hard.

your honesty is brutal.

you set the president
if i dont like it,
i can leave.
or so it feels.

can i be honest?
for just one second.

i love you.