i spent my days and nights contemplating and making lists of reasons i could stay here.
on thursday,
i couldn't lift my head up on the bus ride home.
i didn't want to look outside for nature would make me want to stay,
and i did Not want to stay,
i don't want to stay.
today
i thought and thought and thought.
my lists are empty and all i have now is the longing feeling for things and people are are no longer here