I haven’t had any trouble getting to paradise as of late.
I am always tired, I am always ready for bed.
For the last week, he has come to me each night, taunting me with his words differently every day.

One day he comes to me, on a dark night behind our old school.
There’s a fence I’ve never seen, and a building that’s too far from the path.
I feel him so close- like I never do in life. He is close enough to **** me with one word, and yet he presses his lips to mine instead.
****. If only he could treat me so well.

The next night, though, I have fears he doesn’t even want to know me.
There was... a party.
His birthday, I think.
He told me it would be best if I stayed home, escape the awkwardness, you know?
But I went. I went at 2pm.
There was smoke, there were people- people who don’t know me.
I think he was angry.

I woke up.