Both everything
I ever wanted and
Everything I despised
Both rough and angry
Sandpaper man and
Warm and soft
Belly full of beer
But you
With a predisposition
A false thought of
What it meant to be a man
This was both
The personality I craved and
frustrated me to the core
Yet still what I look for
Is not what I hope to find
Everything about you that
Turns me on
Makes me remember
You are not a real man
And still you are
everything I despise
Sometimes
All I want
To rip from you
Both the clothes
And the parts of you
That I never wanted to see
To wake you
From your high
Shake your shoulders
Trace every part of you
In hope it will awaken
The yearning to be more
More than both everything
I ever wanted and
Everything I despise