When you ask me how I am doing
I will smile and say I am fine

Because I am
In that moment
In that place

You didn’t ask me how I am doing
Every night at 1 am
Alone in my room

Suffocated by the emptiness around me
Gasping for someone who is not there
At that moment I feel like someone is choking me
Even when I am breathing in plenty of oxygen
I am kept awake by the screaming
Of self doubt and uncertainty
Eyes plastered to my dark room
Searching for someone
But only finding disappointment

But you did not ask me that
So I smile and say I am fine