waiting

waiting waiting waiting

w a i t i n g

how many times have i waited for something to get nothing at all

my heart races. i do laps around my room.

it’s cold but i have to wear a tank top to bed because i’m sweating so much

my mind thinking of 1000 thoughts in 1 second

whenever another friend tells me that they’ve gotten their email my stomach drops

i’m so proud of them and at the same time so worried for myself

i refresh the page every half a minute to no avail

i should just keep reading my english book and do my history project

but nothing can take my mind of of this

this one role in one show that will only be a distant memory when i grow old

it doesnt matter

does it matter

will it matter

i keep waiting