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Sep 2018
Why do I let you close?
All you do is cause me hurt.
The sweet caresses and times you hold me to your chest
They never last as long as they should.
You smile at me in such a soft way
Something I never see you do with anyone else
But then you just have to go and **** some random girl
Your adventures open to the world
Why do you have to hurt me this way?

I know you’re not mine.
You never were.
But that didn’t stop me from loving you.
It won’t stop the hurt.
Sometimes you make me feel like I’m on Cloud Nine.
Every other moment, though,
I feel like I want to die.
Why, dear?
Why do you enjoy causing all of this hurt?

I shouldn’t care. I’ve only known you for 22 days.
Why do you have to power to hurt me this way?
You are an enigma to me
You are a complete mystery
So how can you understand me better than anyone else ever could?
You’re more than I could have hoped
You’re more than I thought I wanted
You’re everything I need
And somehow I’m still not good enough. Somehow, you’re still not mine.

Why do I still let myself hurt?
Even I cannot answer that, dear.
I guess my heart will never learn
Not when it comes to you, dear.
You’re the most infuriating man I’ve ever met
Yet somehow I just want to live within your soul,
I want my lungs to fill with your scent, always,
I want to feel you beneath my fingertips,
I want to love you and be loved by you, forever-evermore.

Despite all of this pain
In light of all the hurt
You still keep coming back.
You acknowledge how deeply I care
You know how much I hurt
You know how easily I worry
And you still refuse to stop the hurt.

Is this what you wanted when you came here?
Is this what you imagined from the start?
Did your heart race and your head spin
As you watched me fall apart?
How much does it hurt now, love
When all of my love has been ripped from your heart?

You toy with me
Expect me to remain always, to simply be;
To wait for you for as long as it takes
If I could find someone else, love, don’t you think I would have?
You’re the only one for me, love.
I hope that you understand.
Maybe you will, one day,
After you’ve finally washed my blood from your hands.
Written by
Ariel  20/F
     Lizzie, Em MacKenzie and ---
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