Sometimes I take all of my regrets
I make a fist
And I smile
Shoving them behind my teeth
I ball up the sadness and I fit it into the hollow of my over bite
Because it's just enough to where it makes a perfect little space
I take the tears and I let them run over my smile
The salt white washing them and bleaching them
Brittle enough to break
But the pressure has been under
Just under enough
To where they stop bowing
And they straighten back
Or as straight as they'll be
They've told me before
That if I keep things in
Like sadness or regret per say
That it will turn me into its own personal feast
But with this cleverly tailored smile
I've made sadness the butter on my sandwich of regret
And I've learned to spread a napkin over my lap
And turn it into lunch
The crust perfect
Fresh
Vibrantly decayed
Breathing in the black mold
Hoping in some way that it'll flay through my lungs
The lungs that get fatigued sometimes
Tired of rising
Heart a beaten horse who's never been revived
Maybe eating my own literal feelings
Wasn't a good plan
But with this shotgun wedding of a brain
It seemed fine at the time
Instead of taking my heart out of my chest
And giving it over to a new black vat of a home
The living room curtains fluttering happily
On a wind of calculated despair
Some symphonies are never perfect
But even in their chaos they construct beauty