a place of learning is what it's supposed to be you sit in a hall, with a professor giving a lecture and then you go back to a room where you're not supposed to be lonely.
it's supposed to be a place to be reborn, to choose who you want to be and renew yourself, to cut ties with who you were and be who you want to be. not to be torn.
torn between two lives, two selves one i want to be, one i want to forget these selves who keep clashing within me unable to quiet themselves.
will i learn to be the independent young man who can be himself around others, brave and strong, or will i be forever who i once was, alone, following a restrictive plan?
i may not have changed, but i would like to if only there was a course that i could take how many credits would it be, to change me into someone who's not constantly blue?
ironic, isn't it. the school colors are my personality pantone 292, a shade of blue that doesn't fit because it's not my school. pantone 2955 is more my color dark, sad, and full of emotion, heavy with morality.
a failed assignment here, a missed lecture there a slowly increasing workload, both real and imagined a life of hard work and loneliness leaving me truly unprepared
the problem with learning about people is that it's one class you can't afford to fail. because if you do, you fail at life itself.