I never read what I write
While I'm writing
Because I write from the soul
Which rarely has patience for the limited comprehension of my mind

I felt Life take a hard right
looked out the window
and saw a sign
'WELCOME TO ROCK BOTTOM"
in dim lights
found myself in the dirt
face down to the earth
waiting for someone to tell me my worth
paralyzed
I tried
effortlessly to rise
but it felt like my demise
was so heavy that
I couldn't arise
from that place

Coupled by
darkness in my soul
I saw my story unfold
and it made me want to
release a clip into my brain
or what remained
because clearly I was insane
for allowing my pain to
keep me off my feet
And now as I weep
I wait
hoping that every intake of breath
is my last.

I never read what I write
while I'm writing
because I write from the soul
which rarely has patience for the limited comprehension of my mind
and in my mind
I reached my end in Rock Bottom
I calculated
0% chance of success
even at my best
my demeanor was too shattered
to unearth
any type of power
a little voice
welcomed me to my final hour
It dug a grave for my soul
wrote my will in the earth
and asked me to sign

But I never read what I wrote
because my soul finally spoke
assuring me that
this hour
was mine

Though I still couldn't stand
I pushed up with my hands
knelt in the sand
at Rock Bottom
and though I still couldn't lift my head
I saw it bow instead
hand clasped
time passed
I waited
there at Rock Bottom

I never read what I write
While I'm writing
because I write from the soul
and right from the soul
I saw the limited comprehension of my mind
which could only see
Rock Bottom as my final resting space

When it was in fact my birth place
where I would take
every pain and tear
not to be cast away
but kept safe
a reminder of what I can take

or rather
what He can make
grow from the corners of despair
for repair
Rock bottom
was the most
painful
loving
dark
illuminating
crippling
strengthening
chapter in my life

But I learned so much about his might
that all I could do right
is write this
beautiful
tale in Rock Bottom

As I read what I write
at a time in my life
where my might
appeared broken
know you
are chosen
by his grace may you face
Rock Bottom
because with time
he will take you
to peace
and shape you too
his will
a blessing that is both yours and mine

You will find your
most powerful enemy
may dwell
above the brow
below the crown
Mind
who cannot see the finish line
because its limited comprehension
resides
only in the calculated present
which compared to
a prayerful soul
is always 3 steps behind

So I never read what
I wrote
until now
because my soul
found
strength
wisdom
and courage
knelt
in the sand with praying
hands

through mental abyss
from which
I arose
forgiveness in tow
a story to be told
thank God
I died in Rock Bottom