The Cruise

My wife's been whining for some time now

Wanting me to take her on a cruise

Now we've been married for twenty-five years

So she wasn't gonna let me refuse

So we packed up our bags and off we went

Kinda like a second honeymoon

I said, "Fix us some sandwiches to eat on the way"

Then I told her we'd be there soon

She said, "Where are we going Hawaii or Bahamas?"

I said, "This place is better than that"

We stopped at a place that said, "Paddle Boats Here"

I said, "We're here, now don't forget your hat"

Well, now needless to say, I did something wrong

'Cause my wife started throwing such a fit

We went around circles for at least twenty minutes

'Cause everytime I'd paddle, she'd quit

Now I wasn't gonna pay for no life perservers

My bicycle tubes worked fine

My wife had that tube wrapped around her neck

And both of her hands around mine

Well, to make a long story short, she'll never forget

That time I took her on a cruise

And everytime I even try to forget it

I remember that horrible bruise

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