on the verge of tears
every day
facing my pain requires courage
but am i strong enough to pull myself
OUT of the PIT
that is my mind
when i die, where will my soul go
where will i call home and
•do i have a soul•


let me start over.
i am on a cliff
but the thing is
i climbed it
i’m strong,
i know this, but
everything
EVERYTHING
requires will
true grit
a backbone
but the thing is that
•i lack a spine•


okay again
i’m on a cliff.
have you ever had a dream you were flying
?
i’m about to jump,
i’m just hoping i’ll fly
i just want to feel that feeling
but this cliff, it turns out, is myself
and i can’t let myself go
•i can’t experience ego death•



i’ve apparently overcome a lot in this lifetime
when people hear the first few years of my life they tell me things like that
i know i’m strong
but what i’m trying to say is that
•my entire life has felt like i’m on a cliff•


and lately i’ve just felt on the verge of tears
i want to feel relief, and drugs do that for a bit
but i wish if i jumped i would fly
just.
feel that,
you know
?
but the closest i’ll get
•is jumping•