I spill my heart out on paper
Bleed words that I carry, unspoken
I write and write and write
I write just to cross it all out just to crumple the paper
And miss the bin

Everything’s unfinished
The poem,
The painting,
My coffee.
The phone call,
Our talk,
The text.

They say I’m too ******* myself
But how can I not be
When all I know is half
Never full
Never whole
I never seem to make up my mind

I change my outfit according to my mood
Cut and dye my hair to match it to the sunrise that keeps me awake at 5am
Yet nothing feels right

I have to change
be more of who I’m not
Less of what I think I should be
Others seek happiness
I seek change