every night when you think your parents and sister are sound asleep, you turn your phone on and scroll through tumblr and xnxx for the most depraved forms of *******.
pornhub didn't cut it anymore. you needed something disgusting - something more than a bleach blonde crying and choking on two ***** at once.

tonight, its a girl buried to her neck in dirt. the caption says they'll have her starve to death.
a gifset of a stranger's last moments inside a plastic bag.
riding your hand to ******, you bite down into your soft pillow, grinding your jaws together until the moment passes.

you're always looking for an element of danger on a website known for hoaxes.
congratulations. you satisfied your urges for less than fifteen minutes.

now that it's all passed, its back to jealousy.

jealous of their talent at art.
if i had even half of that talent, think of the beautiful things i could create.
jealous of their shadowy second lives.
my life will never be exciting.

it hurts, a lot. it's a dreary existence you lead.
no matter what you do, it seems to end in failure. your love is evil, you have no money, you're too disabled.

one day a gore blog won't help you.
pray for a serial killer to come and chop your body up - you know it'll never happen.
the only way you'll ever satisfy that itch is by a needlessly complicated suicide plan.

jump off a building and blast your ******* brains out.
it'll be the only legacy you have enough talent for.