maybe i should run away,
maybe i should make a family,
im choking down here from nothing,
but stepping out into the sun burns
this is how they say apath devours
this is how they say self care kills

getting over it, getting over it,
forgetting the past and living for now,
let me bruise, let me crack, let me fall
getting over it, getting over it with me,
self love is the worse kind of greed,
don't help me if i never earned it
getting over it, getting over it with you

maybe it’s better if i killed myself,
maybe it's better to medicate
your truth are my sins and misdeeds,
if i loved myself, i would join icarus,
this is how they say an angel falls,
this is how they say society collapsed

my coping statement is as follows:
i can't live with this noise
i can't live with the ten commandments
i can't live with therapy
i can't live in the past
i can't deal with your future
all i want to do is eat and sleep
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
i really ******* can't deal with your world and what i grew up with? ill push everyone to get help and work for a good life but **** me i can't i can't i can't i can't do it for myself

what the **** was this poem
words are ridiculous im not poe
catch me talking in actions
don't take this so seriously
being a hermit is a federal crime
it's not deep im exhausted and lazy

i don't know what to do in this world
the new movements pass me by
zzzz
let me eat and please don't help me
i wouldn't even try if i knew where to start

(treatment plan starts with narcissism)

every night when you think your parents and sister are sound asleep, you turn your phone on and scroll through tumblr and xnxx for the most depraved forms of *******.
pornhub didn't cut it anymore. you needed something disgusting - something more than a bleach blonde crying and choking on two ***** at once.

tonight, its a girl buried to her neck in dirt. the caption says they'll have her starve to death.
a gifset of a stranger's last moments inside a plastic bag.
riding your hand to ******, you bite down into your soft pillow, grinding your jaws together until the moment passes.

you're always looking for an element of danger on a website known for hoaxes.
congratulations. you satisfied your urges for less than fifteen minutes.

now that it's all passed, its back to jealousy.

jealous of their talent at art.
if i had even half of that talent, think of the beautiful things i could create.
jealous of their shadowy second lives.
my life will never be exciting.

it hurts, a lot. it's a dreary existence you lead.
no matter what you do, it seems to end in failure. your love is evil, you have no money, you're too disabled.

one day a gore blog won't help you.
pray for a serial killer to come and chop your body up - you know it'll never happen.
the only way you'll ever satisfy that itch is by a needlessly complicated suicide plan.

jump off a building and blast your ******* brains out.
it'll be the only legacy you have enough talent for.