10,000 steps a day, In hopes that maybe there is a way for me To be healthy And get skinny Simultaneously. I do it to avoid The feeling that I'm not worthy Of anything other than pain, but of course My mind always goes back to the way it was before When i finish the 3 hours of non stop pacing. I don't know why, But I keep thinking That maybe if I burned extra calories, I can be like a normal 13 year old girl And eat as much as I want. But of course, It never happens. I eat and I feel extremely guilty. I hurt so badly because I thought I thought I could be normal Crying hysterically, Burning my skin, Wishing I could take another 10,000 steps.