My mother used to bake cookies with me when I was young Intricate designs of colored icing that varied with the seasons. They were always perfect and looked far to good to suffer the crime of eating.
For half a century I always baked cookies for the holidays Whilst my children grew tall and independent with no apparent Interest in baking
As the pale blue winter light falls into my kitchens I see myself Cutting shapes and painting colors a silhouette on the shadows of the wall.
Placing the last cookie into a Christmas scene can I Arive at the hospital and sit next to her in the ICU I see her frailness the alarm in her eyes as she recognises me But is yet unable to enunciate her thoughts.
Silence as loud as thunder fills the room the seams of the walls are stretched to their limits. The outer limits beep of the monitor acknowleging her heartbeats Counting down each one until the last.
I miss our intimacy in that long ago kitchen AndΒ Β the random thought enters my mind I am her only child and she is my only mother.
The monitor rings an alarm a code blue Signalling the end of her like the end of a football match. I feel the loss of her like a razor blade cutting my flesh.
And as I leave her for the last time There seems to be a a mortality in the measured unknown days ahead and the cans of cookies yet to be baked.